Drunken Saiyans - REVISED -
by Patented Stormbrat
Summary: This was one of the first DBZ fics I ever wrote. Very silly.This revised version has been beta read and reworded in certain places. I'm writing a sequel. It used to be part of another series but I have sort of seperated it into it's own. The title explain


From: "Chiagaaru wa Sundenokotoni Gokujou no Shigeru" d02otaku@yahoo.com  
OK. I'm changing the label stuff that was on this fic before. Basically, this fic is being seperated into it's own series. Sort of. OK.I'm working on a sequel, and if you guys are interested in the sequel, please tell me.n_n.  
  
I have no clue what's in here right now.I haven't reread this fic in so long, I don't know what to edit out of the disclaimer from it being seperated from the other series - so not all the shows listed in the disclaimer are actually in here... I don't think.  
  
The required disclaimer I have to add to be able to actually send this out-  
Something that has been implied in this part were *not* something that Gilli  
wanted to happen. I thought of it all by mself and Gilli was not aware of it  
at all.  
  
  
SERIES: The series needs a name. Any suggestions?  
BY: Mandy  
RATED: A bit of swearing, some implied stuff.  
FEEDBACK:Please....No feedback makes Mandy-head sad and Mandy-head sad =  
writer's block.  
DISCLAIMER: DBZ stuff belongs to Mr. Akira, BTVS stuff belongs to Mr.  
Joss,JQ stuff belongs to I forgot Because My Brain Just SwissCheesed,  
Jones stuff belongs to Mr. I have No Clue Who He Is, anything I forget to  
mention belongs who I forget to mention.   
  
Gilly;Angela;Caro;Eri;; Eimaj; Megumi and Ragna belong to themselves. Anything contained in this story is mine, characters I made up, story itself, background, ect, everything is mine that wasn't  
featured in the shows/movies listed above!   
  
So no taking without asking me for permission and me giving you a definate yes first please. Thanks! And as for stuff owned by above, please don't sue me, only doing this for fun, not  
money, and it's legal under the parody law, please do not sue, you'd only  
get a DBGT Calender and a bunch of Pokemon merchandise(And my DBZ poster  
which I see hidden dirty-ness in. Eww!*retch retch retch choke gag gag*)  
  
Anyways, Gokou is *mine mine Mine*, Yamcha is Carolyn's, Vegeta is Gilly's,  
Trunks is Angela's,and Spike is Ragna's.Lah lah lah.  
DISTIBUTION: Ask me first and get a definate yes first please. Anyone that  
wants to pick this up please ask me, you may want to pick up the sequel(s) too once they're written.  
  
GUEST STARS: Hello, folks! Today we are featuring these lovely people from  
KrazyKult and SunnydaleRP and DBZKult: Angela as Angela Revinine,  
Ragna as Rana Stratton, Carolyn as Carolyn Rayne, and Gilly as Krazien  
Gilli!(Name listed in traditional Japanese fashion)  
  
Angela;Eimaj and hopefully Megumi are going to be in the next story. Yay!!  
  
======================================  
[NOTE: Untill chibi shows up, the Trunks referred to is Mirai.If you don't know what I'm talking about, Mirai=Future Trunks, shown in the Cyborg Saga; and Chibi is Little Trunks, who comes in later.]  
"Shingle bells...Shingle bells..Goku shmells....Kriling laid an egg..."  
  
"Hey!"Krillin glared at Vegeta."That's not true--wait... Lemme check." He  
bent over and looked at the ground beneath him."Hey, no egg!" He pouted."You  
said!!"  
  
I try not to laugh at everyone as they go through their drunken actions, but  
I just can't help it. If they could see themselves now, I mean, sober them,  
they'd be hitting their heads against the wall and asking that queer little  
cat to put them out of their misery.. Only a couple of us aren't drunk. Me,  
Yajirobe--who's cheating!!-- Casey, and Trunks. Even Daisy's drunk, which is  
kind of scary because she's only 16.  
  
Who am I?Oh yeah. I forgot to tell you. My name's Gilli, and I'm a royal  
saiyan. If you asked Vegeta he'd say 'true blood' and all that crap. I  
personally don't care much whether you're half or full, as long as you're  
saiyan. Course, some humans are pretty cool too...  
  
But that's really rare. Right now, you can't tell whether anyone here is  
cool, or not...They're all acting insane. Eri's crying into her drink, and  
Gohan's telling her that the Great Saiyan man will save her. Yamcha's trying  
to fend off Bulma, and looks ready to whip out a hammer.  
  
My thoughts are interrupted by another round of singing by Vegeta, and I  
wince. He may be good any time else but when he's drunk he sounds like Krillin after  
having his head put through a washer. Which is bad, trust me. Don't ask me  
how I know.  
  
I double over laughing when Piccolo shouts,"Everyone in a conga line!!" And  
the scary thing is, even Vegeta goes along with it. No, what's happening now  
is way more scary...  
  
Vegeta grabs Trunks wrist as he passes by him, and tries to drag him into  
the conga line. Trunks is of course is less than willing."Dad, lemme go!"  
  
"C'mon, shon. You're misshing a great party!"  
  
Trunks just glares at him and shakes his hand loose."You guys are all acting  
like you're 10 year olds!"  
  
"Nuh-uh, 10 year oldsh can't get drrunk!" Vegeta points out to Trunks, and  
gets pushed along in the conga line.  
  
The door opens at this point, and Master Roshi, Goku and Pike *finally*  
arrive. Goku says cheerfully,"Sorry we're late, guys! We were train--"  
  
He stops short and *stares* at the party, completely shocked.  
  
"Welcome to the party, guys!" I say cheerfully, and approach Goku with a  
drink."Want some?"  
  
&*%&%&%&%&%&%&%  
  
A few hours later, Vegeta's passed out, Krillin and Piccolo are fighting  
over Bulma, and Trunks and Casey finally loosened up. I'm still trying to  
get Goku to take a drink...  
But not without having to take a few myself... God it's like trying to get a  
baby to eat baby food.  
  
  
  
"C'mon, it'll be fun." I send the common drugdealer's convince act[at least  
according to commercials] GOku's way, and why not? Can't think of nothin  
else after 2 *hours*.  
  
"No, thanks. But you go ahead and have some more."Goku says, and I almost  
can't keep from screaming. God! This has been his typical reaction most of  
the time. But hey... One more drink can 't hurt right?  
  
I remember my comparision to trying to get a baby to eat babyfood earlier,   
and I say,"It's good. See?" I take a sip."I wouldn't drink it if it wasn't."  
  
"I've heard it tastes like paper."Goku peers at me skeptically. I wonder  
how whoever told him that knew what paper tastes like, but I just say,"Nahh.  
Not after the first 2 drinks."  
  
"Don't wanna risk it. You can though."  
  
"Look, try a sip. I won't tell no one."  
  
"Yajirobe made it, right?"  
  
I nod."Uh-huh."  
  
"No thanks."  
  
I look at him for a few minutes, and finally just say,"It's a royal saiyan  
order!"  
  
"Oh, it is?Okay then!"  
  
I nearly fall over in shock. I gape at him and he leans over and explains,"I  
just needed an excuse."  
  
%_^_^)%)%)%)%)$($($($($($($($($^_^_^_^_^_^  
  
Now the thing about saiyan stomachs are, they can hold a lot more stuff than  
human stomachs, but we've got almost zero tolerance for alchohol. Royal  
saiyans have even less tolerance, which is why Vegeta was so drunk after  
only 2 and 3/something drinks. I'd know more math if I hadn't dranken 20  
drink.  
  
Goku's drunk as much as me, so we're both more drunk than anyone at the  
party, which is admirable for him since he just started 14 minutes ago. Some  
people are gone--the alchohol wore off Eri and she dragged Gohan out before  
he started making up a Great Saiyan man theme song and singing it to us all  
(God help us), Chi-chi got mad that Goku got more boiled than her and  
dragged Yamcha out with her. Gahh. Wonder how much she'll be beating herself  
up when she wakes up in the morning? Krillin and Trunks are gone because  
they dared each other who could jump off a cliff and keep from flying before  
hitting the longest. Hope they'll be okay. Being drunk makes some people do stupid  
things.  
  
Piccolo passed out long ago, and disapeered. Dende musta wanted to give him a  
talking to. Bulma got dragged out by police when they raided the party--she  
was the only one who couldn't hide their drunkenness. Yamcha, to get back at  
her, said....That she was the one trying to offer drinks to everyone but everyone  
turned it down, and he made up some other lies too. And I thought he wasn't  
a saiyan?  
  
Boy, my thoughts have gone strange now I'm drunk. I'd *never* put down  
saiyans while I was sober. But this only worries me for a second, because  
I've got something else to worry about...  
  
Goku just threw up on me.  
  
"Ewww!" I shriek and lash out at him, hitting him a few times. They're very  
weak hits, but because he's so drunk, they knock him into the unconscious  
world.  
  
Uh-oh.  
  
Quickly, before anyone left at the party notices and takes out some major Z  
fighter vengeance on me, I drag Goku upstairs and drop him on the bed. After  
taking a few minutes to stare in utter shock at the upstairs of Master  
Roshi's house, this is interrupted by the feeling most hated by drunk  
people--  
  
The body saying,"I'm gonna get back at you by throwing up!"  
  
After about 10 minutes of throwing up, I collapse unconscious in the  
bathroom.  
  
%_^_^_^_^_%_%_%_%_%  
  
Meanwhile, downstairs....  
  
Rana Stratton was bored out of her wits. Sure, at first it was fun to watch  
everyone's antics while being drunk, but when most everyone passed out/left  
it just got plain boring. She yawned and almsot fell asleep, but she kept  
herself from it. Who knew what one of them would do when they woke up if  
they were still drunk. She didn't want to be asleep and risk her neck.  
  
Being allergic to alchohol sucked.   
  
She blinked and listened closer when she thought she heard voices outside...  
  
"The grownup party has *got* to be better."  
  
"You haven't been watching, have you?"  
  
"Piccolo made such a fool of himself..."  
  
"And what about Vegeta?"  
  
"Hey, that's my dad you're talking about!"  
  
"Why'd they leave us behind?"  
  
"Haven't you been watching?"  
  
"Lemme see! Lemme see!"  
  
"I'll lift you up. You're too short."  
  
"No, I'm not!"  
  
"Fine, then I guess you don't want help, do you?"  
  
"Help, please!"  
  
"I knew we shouldn't have brought a *girl* along...Wait! Don't cry! I'll  
lift you up..."  
  
She stared at the window as a face appeared in it, and the face peered back,  
shocked. After a few seconds, there was a collapse of bodies when the owner  
of the face tried to scramble, a shriek of "OWww!" and a few slapping  
noises.  
  
Rana walked outside and stared down at the kids."What are you doing here?"  
  
The kids(Pan, Trunks, Goten, Mike, Lizzie, Andy and Ash) just stared back at  
her from the collapsed heap.  
  
"Busted!!" Trunks said, a bit scared, though he tried to hide it. "Are you  
gonna tell my dad?"  
  
Rana crossed her arms and tried to give her best intimidating glare."Well,  
that all depends..."  
  
"Depends?" Andy asked, really scared.Rana felt sorry for them, and was glad  
at least the little ones hadn't been there for the whole party.  
  
"You all have to clean. Everything. You broke a rule and left the kid party  
where you were supposed to stay. Come on." She smiled."I'll go easy on you."  
  
^_^_^(%(%(%(^_^_^_^%(%(%(%(^)^))^^)$*($($(($*$($*$($*$($*$%(%()%(%(%)(%)%()%  
%((%(%(%(%  
  
"Oh, my head hurts...."  
  
I groan as I wake up slowly. I don't remember a thing about yesterday...  
  
I try really hard to remember, despite it makes my head ache more. All I  
remember is something about Vegeta singing badly....Wait... And Goku  
throwing up on me. And...  
  
What next?  
  
I can't remember a *thing*. Which is *so* alarming I can't even describe it.  
What the hell happened? It's like my body is trying to hide something like  
we "did it" or something.  
  
If it is I'm going to burn myself alive.  
  
When I hear voices downstairs my head hurts even more. I groan but I listen  
anyway, I want to hear what they're talking about. Maybe it'll give a clue to  
what happened. Maybe I killed someone.  
  
"Oh, I'm never getting drunk ever again..."  
  
"I told you not to drink that much, Caro! Why did you?"  
  
"Do I ever do what you tell me?"  
  
"No."  
  
"That's why...God...please don't talk."  
  
"God's Dende.Why are you asking him not to talk?"  
  
"Shut up..."  
  
Well, that's helpful. Notice the such sarcastic tone?  
  
"Don't turn that tv on! Turn that right off, Lizzie! I'm *not* listening to  
Pokemon sounds!"  
  
"Waaah!"  
  
"See what you did? You made her cry!"  
  
"She's just crying over the death! Why are they airing that on International  
Channel anyway?The movie's still in the theatres!"  
  
"I don't know. Why don't you take a hike and find out?"  
  
"It is so weird watching your own death..."  
  
"Yes it is. Why don't you have her turn it off so you don't have to?"  
  
"RANA! Make her stop!"  
  
I jsut wanna shout at them..Why am I listen to this... It's making my  
headache worse.  
  
"Hi, guys!"  
  
"Hi, Eri! You got Gohan some sobered, huh?"  
  
"Bright..lights..."  
  
"You got that right, Gohan... "  
  
"What were those noises up stairs a few minutes ago?"  
  
Oh, now this is interesting. Noises? Maybe I killed Goku.  
  
"Nothing. They were nothing."  
  
"They were scary."  
  
"They were nothing."  
  
"They were *something*! I think there's a *ghost*!"  
  
"Be quiet, please..."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Caro, Gohan, stop it."  
  
"Oh, look, it's the seizure episode."  
  
Good, maybe they'll all get seizures and shut up.  
  
"Wohoo. Now everyone can be quiet and watch it."  
  
"If you guys want everyone quiet, why don't you go upstairs so you don't hear  
anything?"  
  
"That's a good idea."  
  
"But there's *ghosts* up there!"  
  
"No there's not! There's just..."  
  
"Just what?... WHAT? Okay, you can whisper it...OH MY GOD!"  
  
"I'm not going up there *now*!"  
  
"Gohan, you scaredy cat!"  
  
"No! I'm not gonna know *anything* about it! Mom can scream at him, not me."  
  
"Uhmm...about that...."  
  
"..."  
  
"Well, this is all just one fun happy b---"  
  
"Hey, kids are around!"  
  
"--christmas. What did you think I was gonna say?"  
  
"Not that, since you started with a b."  
  
"Hmmph."  
  
"You okay, Gohan?"  
  
"Would *you* be?"  
  
"I wouldn't know."  
  
"THEN DON'T TRY TO HELP SOMEONE! If you wouldn't know, then how can you,  
Eri?!"  
  
"You don't have to YELL at me! It's not my fault your parents--"  
  
"Don't finish that sentence."  
  
"Fine."  
  
"I was just trying to help."  
  
"But you weren't."  
  
"Is this gonna turn into Jerry Springer?"  
  
"You *would* like that, wouldn't you, kid?"  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
"Trunks, it's not gonna be Jerry Springer."  
  
"Why *not*!"  
  
"Because no one knows what that is!"  
  
"Then you're *stupid*!"  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
That's it. I'm gonna do it. This had made my headache too worse to  
comprehend. I can't listen tho this anymore. Aand if what they're implying  
is right...  
  
Wonder if that Klingon honor killing works for saiyans?  
  
^)%(^(^(^(^(^  
  
POV SWITCH: Carolyn  
"So what were you doing, Caro?" Rana peered at me, trying to change the  
subject. I wince, I really don't want to tell them.  
  
"Yeah. What were you doing?" Trunks asks curiously and looks up at me. If I  
were an anime character or in an anime fanfic I'd majorly sweat-drop. As it  
is I'm really embarrassed. Why do they even want to know?  
  
"Uhmm...." I blush furiously and try to think of a way to avoid telling. I  
*especially* don't want to say it in front of the kids. Eri seems to catch  
this even while being distracted by Gohan, and she says,"Why don't you guys  
find something for the kids to watch and ask her then?"  
  
"Awwe!!" Andy says, greatly disapointed, and I glare at him. He's such a  
brat. He ignores my glare and says, grinning,"What is it you can't say in  
front of kids?"  
  
I glare even more furiously at him and finally say,"Hey, brat, last kid who  
was nosy--"  
  
"Stop right there, Caro! Don't take your frustrations out on them."  
  
"*What* frustrations?!"  
  
"I don't know, but you're sure as hell not going to take them out on the  
kids!"  
  
"Fine..." I sigh. Sorry."  
  
"You're not." Lizzy states, and I glare at her. "I *am*, no matter what you  
say, Summers brat."  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Just leave me *alone*, okay?" I say harshly. "Just leave me alone!" And  
before anyone can say anythng, I turn and march outside.  
  
^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_%)%)%)%))%)%)%  
  
POV:GIlli(Who's moved since we last saw her...)  
"So what's your excuse?" I glare at Goku. I've not accepted what happened as  
true reality, but I won't miss this chance to scream his head off while he's  
still here.  
  
"Huh? Excuse for what?" He peers at me, confused. I just glare at him."You  
know very well."  
  
"Umm... I do?" Goku blinks at me and I get even more frustrated. Why is he  
pretending he doesn't know? Okay, so I don't remember either, but he *had*  
to have heard the voices downstairs... Unless he's an idiot, deaf, or both.  
  
"Yes, you do. Unless you're extremely stupid, Kakarotto. " I say his saiyan  
name in spite, knowing full well he hates it. This gets him mad(finally a  
smart reaction) and he says right back,"If I knew, I'd tell you, *Serori*."  
  
I wince and glare at him."Don't call me by my saiyan name."  
  
"Then don't you do it. " He smirks." The golden rule, after all."  
  
  
I open my mouth to say something, and nothing comes out. I instead, maybe by  
unconscious thought, look around the kitchen for something, walk over to the  
fridge. I take out the pie that was meant for the party yesterday, and smash  
it in his face.  
  
"There."  
  
Goku stood there for a minute, shocked, and I waited for a reaction from  
him.To tell the truth I'm kind of scared what his reaction will be but I  
ignore that feeling - it's uncalled for. It's my turn to be shocked when he  
grins and says,"I don't think Master Roshi will be very happy with what you  
did to his pie."  
  
I stand silent for a few seconsd before giving him a small grin."Master  
Roshi probably doesn't cook so well either."  
  
"Well, let's see." Goku tastes some of the icing."Damn. He does."  
  
"Who'd have known?"  
  
"Not me, that's for sure."  
  
SIlence for a few seconds. I don't like silence. FInally, I say,"Are you  
sure you don't know what I was talking about?"  
  
"I'm sure."  
  
"Uhm...Okay...Truce?Maybe?" I offer. Goku grins at me and says,"Sure. But  
first..."  
  
"First what?"  
  
Before I know what's happening, he's grabbed something from behind him, and  
starts spraying me with the full contents of a whip cream bottle. I almost  
scream, but I bite it back and back up, hiding behind the open fridge door  
and grabbing a beer can from inside it. Shaking it up furiously, I pop it  
open and hold it so all the contents go spraying at Goku.  
  
It goes on like this, a furious food fight. During this neither of us notice  
Caro entering the kitchen, staring with wide eyes, an finally backing out  
slowly. I do hear her mutter,"My god, they *did* do it." before she leaves,  
and I turn but there's no one there.  
  
Goku stops short in his tracks and looks at me with wide eyes."Did do what?"  
  
"...Supposedly...We kinda...You know."  
  
"Who said that?!"  
  
I tell him everything I heard when I first woke up, and his reaction is  
mostly the same as mine. He makes a face."Eww!"  
  
"Well, thanks."  
  
"I don't mean that.. I mean...Well...."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Really."  
  
"I know."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The Next Day  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Head..still..hurts..." Vegeta groaned, laying his head on the table. I swat  
his arm. "Wuss! Haven't you ever drank before?"  
  
"No...Drinking...bad...."  
  
"Well, you obviously drank too much, considering you still have a hangover 2  
days after."  
  
"Yes...too much....drinking..bad. Senzu bean?"  
  
"Vegeta, senzu beans aren't for hangovers!" Yamcha informs him somewhat  
bitterly. "You just have to tough it out."  
  
"Hey, leave him alone!" I glare at Yamcha. "It ain't an ordinary hangover,  
so you just have to shut up. He's got a license to act like this."  
  
"Act like what?"  
  
"Well...uhh..."  
  
"Did you just insult me?"  
  
"No."  
  
"I think you did..."  
  
"Hey, everyone, quiet. No fighting. Vegeta, calm down, you're not yourself.  
I have something that will cheer you guys up." Master Roshi says as he  
enters the room. I blink and stare at him, and everyone else just groans.  
  
"Nothing..cheer..up....Drunk....bad..." Vegeta complains and I swat him.  
"Listen to what Roshi has to say."  
  
"Fine."He grumbles.  
  
"Alright, now that that's settled... There's a Boudokai coming up."  
  
"WHAT?!" Everyone stares at him. "I thouht that was canceled for good!"  
  
"Well...." He sweat drops a bit."With some convincing...It was started  
again..."  
  
"We have to train! C'mon, Pu'ar!" Yamcha disapeers quicker than a flash, and  
Vegeta suddenly seems to have life in him."Maybe this time it will be worth  
fighting in..."  
  
Pretty soon the only ones left in the kitchen are me and Roshi.  
  
Sweatdrop mania here.  
  
"No one even thought to check when it was..." Roshi murmers.  
  
"Bakas."  
  
Yamcha runs back in the door, red faced. "Where's my car?!"  
  
"Caro-chan stole it,"I say in a singsong voice.  
  
"WHAT?! How could you let her?!" Yamcha grabs me by the shirt, and I stare  
at him. HItting him in the face, I knock him down.  
  
"Pervert."  
  
"Guys, guys, stop it!" Roshi protests, trying to stop us. "You've gotta train!"  
  
"This is training."  
  
"No it's not! It's beating up!"  
  
"Shut up, old man!"  
  
"Ahem..what's going on here?"  
  
"Uhh...Nothing! Nothing!"  
  
"Out! Now! Now!"  
  
"Uhh..NO?"  
  
"Now or I'll throw you out...."  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"No one tells me to shut up..."  
  
"I just did! So I guess I'm no one!"  
  
"You..little...runt.."  
  
"I'm taller than you, stupid."  
  
"By two inches!"  
  
================================================  
Ahem...That's...getting repetive...I think we better skip away.  
Narrator: So there's a Boudokai coming up! And no one even took the time to  
even see when it was.....Next part we'll skip straight to the Boudokai, so  
our characters may be a bit different! And where the heck are those  
villains! It sure is tough waiting for them!  
  
Will Yamcha ever get his capsule car back? Will Gilli and Yamcha kill each  
other before the Boudokai ever begins?Is Roshi going to be beat up? Find out  
all this and more next time on...  
  
Uhh....  
  
What's the name of this fanfic again?  
  
  
  



End file.
